One shot film second idea "Captive"

The initial concept behind this piece was by Danny Peachy, a captive is held in a dark room looking through a key hole while his kidnapper attempts to free himself of guilt by reassuring the captive. We took this idea and adapted it slightly, the captive was still looking through the keyhole but this time spying on his kidnapper discussing his plans on the telephone. This way you feel like you are the victim fearing for what might happen to you as you listen to the man's diabolical plans. Unlike my first film idea this shot will not involve the camera moving, this keeping in with the brief, with my previous idea I'm slightly concerned I have stepped to far outside of the boundaries. Below is a transcript for the film "Captive".

phone rings:
hey
yeah i got it sorted
my place
yeah thats right
stupid son of bitch never knew what hit him
yeah thats right
tomorrow 12 o'clock
yeah if he's not there with the money... the kids finished
if you screw this up i swear to g...
alright fine
the truck should be here soon, then we can move him to the warehouse
yeah... then your boys can take good care of him (ha ha ha)
so what we talking 50/50?
sorry?
no i don't think so i need 50 grand by the end of this week or i'm a dead man
you better not screw me over you fat son of a bitch!
***guy is closet: ring tone
i'll call you back i have business to attend to, don't think i'm through talking with you
(cover keyhole, remove card,close door and turn on studio light)
if you were smart you would have kept your mouth shut... (punch)